Stage Fright

As I recollect my child hood, I was a very outgoing child. Always eager to do new things, perform on stage(be it skit,dance,singing,orating or anything that a child can do in school). I always felt I m the best and can do anything.


But I don't remember while growing up, how and when I developed stage fright. Now I am even frightened to get up and say a few words in front of a group of 15-20 people. My legs start trembling, my voice gets choking. And situation is getting really bad. Today,during a session I was terrified that trainer shouldn't call my name during role play session. I need to get rid off this fear of mine. I know Only I can help myself and need to face people to get rid off this.



But I am wondering whether I have developed some kind of inferiority complex and why?

Nice outing plan dropped at last moment!!!!!!!!! I'm nt liking it.....bt it's gonna be a relaxing day now................something positive here too :)

Like every thursday, I Visited Sai Baba temple yesterday and suddenly this thought crossed my mind.

What is religion. And for what purpose Sai Baba, Guru Nanak Ji arise and created their own cults/religions? As per my knowledge these leaders, Gurus wanted to help poor people. They wanted every person to get their due, help the downtrodden and create a society where there is no discrimination, where everyone have equal rights and religion(temples or any other places of worship) is not the property of some special caste or in hands of some rich people.

But in today's world are we following their teachings? We just go to temples/gurduwars, pay some 100 something bucks, buy some garlands, buy some prasad, may be some clothes for gods, offer it to our gods and just get away. We are doing the same things against which these leaders have stood .

What do we get by offering some 100 Rs prasad/garlands to god. Do they get happy with such materialistic things? Will not spending the same amount on some needy or poor person make our gods more happy??

I read it somewhere :

Every Moment,
Every Situation,
Every Issue
&
Every Concern has a Positive Side.

And today I can't differ from this statement a bit. A negative situation can really bring something positive to your life. I have experienced this in past two days :)

Though I am feeling sorry for my friend. Get well soon dear!!!

Deep inside,loads of negative energy is building up. Since the day I began to think, I have always thought and believed that I am a lucky person and have always been happy about the fact. But now in past few months, I have started feeling that this happy and lucky thing is an illusion for me. This has been an execuse to keep myself happy. I had never expected anything from anyone or from life. I had always worked for things and whenever I got that thing done, I used to thank God and feel lucky.

But now I feel I have been one left out person. Whatever I wish for, never comes easy. I have to work, wait...wait and wait for it. But other people get those things quite easily in their lives for what I have to wait so long.so what is this being lucky all about????